User talk:Nyxson
Welcome Hi, welcome to ! Thanks for your edit to the Leonard's Pumpkins page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Violation of these rules will result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out the Article Listing or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Look at what our editors have written at the User Submissions page. Do not forget to add any story you create/upload to the Article Listing. If, after 30 minutes from adding a page, you neglect to put that page on the Article Listing, you will receive a 1 day block as stated in the rules. This is not the same as adding it to the User Submissions page. If you upload OC (Original Content; something that you wrote instead of found on the internet), be sure to tag it with the Category:OC category AND add it to the User Submissions page as per the rules. If you mark a page as OC and do not add it to the User Submissions page, you will be warned first then blocked from editing for a day the next time it happens. The OC tag will also be removed. The same thing goes for putting a page on the Submissions and not tagging it as OC. This does not count as adding it to the Article Listing, though. This is an extra step for OC. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! -- MooseJuice (Talk) 04:37, November 3, 2012 Sloshedtrain (talk) ( ) 05:24, November 3, 2012 (UTC) I reviewed both your pastas and they pass the quality standards, which you can find here. Your pastas are no longer Marked for Review. MooseJuice (talk) 20:54, November 5, 2012 (UTC) Why do they call it the funny bone? Because obviously people are laughing at your pain. 22:17, February 8, 2013 (UTC) Hey, I'm new here and wehad the whole Serena connection thing there... want to talk? XD Serenalurvsyou (talk) 08:01, May 29, 2014 (UTC) serenalurvsyou Not quite Chat is freaking out on me, give me a moment Serenalurvsyou (talk) 08:47, May 29, 2014 (UTC) serenalurvsyou Do you have a kik or a facebook or a snapchat that we could use, you are not showing up on my chat :( Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read the Deletion FAQ for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback. | creepypasta.wikia.com | [[User:Underscorre|'Under']][[User talk:Underscorre|'Scorre']] | Underscorre (talk) }} 08:22, March 22, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:59, January 25, 2016 (UTC) Re: Story The story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. There are numerous grammatical, punctuation, wording, and story issues here that really weaken the overall story. Punctuation issues: Compound words should be hyphenated as they are directly linked. "off (-) white door", "half whispering", "half surprised", etc. Punctuation is missing from dialogue. "He's still with us man. He's watching us right now(,)", "You're right, he is here with us(,)", "Here's to you, roomy. Good night Steve(,)", "When booty calls, I gotta answer", etc. Punctuation is missing from sentences. "Funny, it almost feels like he heard me" Wording issues: Try to avoid redundancy by re-stating characters' names/other words multiple times in a sentence. "Cody and Josh both stop when they come into the hallway and see me, and they both bow their heads silently as Cody puts his hand on my shoulder." Awkward wording. "Wasn't there guy named Joe who died in this room before Steve?". Grammar: it's=it is, its=possession "it's (its) worth.". Story issues: ""...he had friends like you." I bite my lower lip and accept his bro-hug while softly letting out some sobs. "Thank you man. I tried..."", "Tell Steve good night for us." I nod and look at the floor, half whispering, "I will."", etc. Dialogue should really be spaced out so two speakers are never on the same paragraph. This is done to avoid misattribution and to help with story structure. Additionally a lot of the dialogue feels awkward ("Treacherous slut!") and the words spoken aloud really come off as unneeded exposition. ("When booty calls, I gotta answer") Story issues cont.: Characters also act really off. The protagonist goes from mourning his friend to hooking up without much transition. After strangling her, she is way too believing/forgiving. ("I can vaguely hear her apologizing while apparently being strangled") While I know this is a series, the ending is pretty lackluster and really does nothing to draw the audience into the overall story. "Either way, maybe Professor Stanley would be interested in hearing about this." There also isn't a lot of build-up or tension to the story as the memorial takes up half and the scenes you focus on in the end have a glossed over feeling to them. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:32, January 28, 2016 (UTC)